I hit that age a bit ago where marriage and birth has become a common occurrence with my group of peers. Just recently I’ve noticed that I have hit another age where divorce is becoming kind of common too course with the chances of you making it on your first go being a whole 59%, I shouldn’t be that surprised. I’ve been questioning what love is and what it really means a lot because of some recent news I got a few days ago.
I have this small clan of friends that I meet a few years back. We all kind of fused together in the flurry of craziness which was wonderful. It gave me a brother I love dearly, one of my girls is pretty sure she found the love of her life and there is no end to the fun and high jinx, or so we thought.
One of the kids of this clan is married with 2 beautiful and sweet little boys. He got married young, the marriage hasn’t been ideal and up and down but then again what relationship is anything but just that to relative extremes. Still the two had been together since high school and built a life together, like you do. Well there was a new figure that was brought into the equation that was about 5’6 with crazy hair and body not to mention just a little on the unstable side emotionally, so of course all the boys come a running. Still with all the different flights of fancy that where thrown to her feet, Crazy threw her heart into one basket, the married for over 12 years with two boys basket. I won’t go into all the details but needless to say the situation was more than complicated. What I will say is that requests where made, those requests where denied, and then vows where re-affirmed so an understanding could be reached and a new kind of trust could be forged. So all was right in the world… ya right.
So all of that was thrown out the window, the fact that it carelessly tossed aside by someone I cared about and thought/think of as a dear friend makes it even that much more of a shock. So the marriage is ruined 2 beautiful boys carry looks of confusion on their faces, a vow was broken, hearts betrayed and friendships are slowly loosing their grip and slipping. WHY!?!??! I mean seriously, what the FUCK? Are humans so fucking ass backwards that we can’t act any better than this because this kind of thing happens A LOT. We see something we like we have to go fuck it and screw around with no regard for any one around us, to the promises we made, to love, or to the innocent ones that can’t even begin to understand what the hell is going on. How hard is it to be honest though it may hurt a whole hell of a lot at the moment it comes out, it sure as hell helps to prevent completely fucking up everything around you.
Now I believe in divorce trust me there are plenty of marriages that should not be any longer do to extreme situations. On the other hand there is so much of it going round, it kind of makes you wonder how serious people are about this whole “till death do us part” thing. I know when and if I ever do decide to pledge my heart and soul to another being to share a life with and be there thick thin sickness health rich poor good times bad come what may, I’m damn sure going to mean it. That is what TRUE love is. I love many people in my life but that doesn’t mean I would give my everything to them to truly be “married” to someone means you would do that; you would give your everything.
When my ex and I were breaking up there was a laps of time where I doubted my decision in leaving him. During the talk of maybe getting back together and his refusal of said purposely I made the comment of love not being enough to keep two people together. It was a low blow, it was some what cruel to the both of us but at the same time, looking back on it, it needed to be said because no matter how many times we both said “I love you” it was never the everything love. Actions spoke louder than words on that one. Neither one of us ever gave completely to the other. It’s one of those things, you have to be willing to love someone so much your willing to be unhappy from time to time and uncomfortable once in a while in order to get through to the other side. I want to believe that there is a level of love out there that is so big and so strong that it can give you a small bit of hope in the bleakest of situations. You can tell me I’ve seen to many movies and that I’m a hopeless dreamer, but quite frankly my dears I don’t give a fuck. I think it’s out there some where. I may not find it and that would suck but none the less I do believe it’s out there. When I go home and I see my parents and everything they have been through, money problems, arguing till the wee hours of the morning, sleeping on couches and driving away mad, no matter how bad it got they’re still together today and LOVE each other completely and would do anything for the other in a heartbeat, thick thin sickness health rich poor good times bad come what may, they have been there done that and still go strong with every day. In closure, I will tell you all what I said to someone not that long ago. “I’m completely content to wait for anything I think is worth it.” That kind of love, the pure love, is totally worth it.