R3dRum!!!!!

So I had a loverly start to my morning @ a dark and gloomy 2:21am. The door bell kept ringing? I ignored it at first thinking that it was just a figment of my imagination or some kind of strange carry over from dreaming. After hearing it again with my eyes open this time, staring at the ceiling, I lay in bed and took a deep breath hoping someone else would deal with the matter. Alas when I realized that no one else was venturing out of their caves to investigate the matter, I was up and gingerly making my way to the door. Cursing the fact that there is no peep whole I would have to actually come face to face with the rude heathen that found it necessary to wake me at such a heinous hour.

I opened the door and there is no one there, just the loud distinct rumble of a diesel truck coming from the street. Conclution... My neighbor has a Mac Tools truck so i figured he had noticed something that he thought would be very important for us to know at 2:21in the f*ing morning, and came to inform us…

I closed the door and curled back up in the still warm little spot in the center of my pillow pile. Just as the sweetness of sleep began to creep back into my head the door bell jars me back awake. Okay, now I’m getting just a wee bit peeved.

I briskly made my way down the hall expecting my neighbor to be standing there with what had better be a very important announcement. I swung the door wide only to drag it back to concel myself behind it from the complete stranger standing there on my door step. Apparently the diesel I heard earlier was the sound of a tow truck and not my neighbors’ Mac Tools truck, and there was a little green car on top that the tow truck. The man on my door step requested to speak with the owner of said captured little green car.

“ARE YOU F*ING KIDDING…. YOU INCONCIDERATE, OBNOCTOIUS OBTUCE….” Where all the words running through my mind at the moment but all I could mange to speak was, “Why?”, the only answer that was given in return for my query? The information I was seeking was for the owner of the now imprisoned little green car and only that individual. No longer caring and hearing the call of my pillow pile back in bed I went to retrieve said owner. There was the sound of chains and engines and glass? Not completely certain and shortly after my head hit my pillow, not even close to caring, I drifted back to sleep.

I woke up groggy and terribly cranky yet managed to pull myself up and out of bed to wonder my way down the hall to take a shower. There was hefty draft coming from down the hall, which was odd. I wondered passed the bathrooms to investigate and was greeted by the whole bloody neighborhood block that was cozily framed by the door frame. Mind you I say door frame because the front door itself was standing wide open beneath the warm glow of the porch light that was left on, as if to say welcome all you rapists robbers and rouges, come on in and help yourself. It’s only 9:42 at the moment and I feel I’ve been up for two days. If it weren’t for the slight soreness to my leg muscles this morning I would be far grumpier than I find myself at the moment. So how was your morning?

8/13/07

There's an unidentified feeling floating about in my chest. I wanted to say guts but it's not quite there, and I thought about head but that's a bit too high so the chest is a nice compromise. Still it's there, and I don't know what it is? It's a bit anxious, it's flustered, maybe a bit frightened, I really don't know? I'm guessing there's change coming. It's pry a change in the season coming on. Hopefully that's all it is.

I'm distracted and so far away from where I am, I think, or maybe it's the other way round?

Home doesn't feel like home. Maybe other people are right maybe you can't kept something from your past so near by like this.

There's this restlessness. Maybe it was from lying under the stars last night and feeling so fucking small and insignificant that I question why any of this shit is important.

Ideally if I could have it my way I would prefer to spend most my day in bed with my lover (whom ever that be at the time) indulging my senses to their most extreme bounders. Being a completely glutton at that moment. Walking in the late afternoon and evenings and not have a million and one things on my mind but that moment, watching the world slip by. To be capable of just stopping, to enjoy each second of the things that are around me, with out worry, with out care.

You really can't control much of anything except maybe yourself and even then that's a crap shoot so why not be allowed to enjoy what you can with whom you wish for as long as you wish it? That's pry to many wishes to ask for.