8/13/07

There's an unidentified feeling floating about in my chest. I wanted to say guts but it's not quite there, and I thought about head but that's a bit too high so the chest is a nice compromise. Still it's there, and I don't know what it is? It's a bit anxious, it's flustered, maybe a bit frightened, I really don't know? I'm guessing there's change coming. It's pry a change in the season coming on. Hopefully that's all it is.

I'm distracted and so far away from where I am, I think, or maybe it's the other way round?

Home doesn't feel like home. Maybe other people are right maybe you can't kept something from your past so near by like this.

There's this restlessness. Maybe it was from lying under the stars last night and feeling so fucking small and insignificant that I question why any of this shit is important.

Ideally if I could have it my way I would prefer to spend most my day in bed with my lover (whom ever that be at the time) indulging my senses to their most extreme bounders. Being a completely glutton at that moment. Walking in the late afternoon and evenings and not have a million and one things on my mind but that moment, watching the world slip by. To be capable of just stopping, to enjoy each second of the things that are around me, with out worry, with out care.

You really can't control much of anything except maybe yourself and even then that's a crap shoot so why not be allowed to enjoy what you can with whom you wish for as long as you wish it? That's pry to many wishes to ask for.