Just call me Betamax.

You ever get that feeling that you are so insignificantly small, useless, worthless, old, out of touch, falling apart and just taking up space, that you just know,

“this must be the proof that god dose not exist.”

Surly, if you think about it, how in the hell could he/she, It, exist when I’m all these pathetic things and basically a worthless piece of flesh. Why would some omnipotent being put any time into creating something so useless and time consuming as my life, when it is obviously just a kind of sucking parasite of resources, that can do nothing to give back to the this so called creation.

I’m nothing but this shadow of some one that who once was fearless, angry, passionate, funny, and maybe even talented, once upon a time. That all seems so long ago. It feels as though time has truly done it’s work on me and the fraying shows heavily about my being. All the things I’ve done to myself through out the years, finally paying off as it becomes harder to breath, and other signs of the lights dwindling are making themselves known. Fucking reality, every god damned time...

These are the greatest times of or lives, supposedly, at least that’s what people would have had me believe a few years ago. After reading through the news I keep seeing my generation get lost in this chaos crated from the past, a flood gate of mistakes washing away any happiness I once grasped, running through the rapids of shit with out a fucking paddle..

The Fraying continues and one should want to fight against it, but with all the things that do not lay in front of me, with every fucking door being shut on my face with out a window to even slip through any longer, with this continued feeling of being the old betamax video tape of life ( a once truly great idea that is nothing but a useless object that some people can get a punch line out of but that’s it) I find it harder and harder not to just give into the fray and let myself unravel back into the ether of this, what ever the fuck this is, and not continue to suck on an already dried up, hurling towards it’s own inevitable oblivion of a planet and just let the more “successful” organisms finish having their way with her, because obviously there is shit all for a decaying, jobless, pry soon to be homeless, and there fore a rather lifeless, pale shadow of a someone that use to be a something, but was obviously just some almighty beings idea of a really fucked up punch line....