Thursday, October 6, 2011

Of Course it's not September

Because its now fucking October! *sigh* So that month blew by like a bitch out of hell. True I'm a bit grateful because it was such a shit month, but the end of the year looms even closer now, AND the holidays, yelch... I have to say that this year has been a chaotic road of live and learn, but not nearly the shit storm of it's predecessor, so hey at least it's a step in the right direction? If I just didn't have that crap feeling of a giant clock somewhere ticking down to.... well something.

On what I thought would be brighter news, I went out with a guy on Tue. I thought I could call it a date but at the same time, I'm feeling it safer if I just didn't call it anything at all. There is always that "breath holding moments" a day after the encounter where you wonder, "okay where to next?" It makes me terribly insecure and jump to conclusions, but at the same time, I've come to find that those conclusions usually turn out being painfully right.

There have been very few times I've actually surprised myself with being wrong, I would love to be wrong, I would be ecstatic to be proven wrong about my gut feelings. I may just pee myself in the surge of over whelming glee that would take place if I was, "just being a silly over reactive woman" with glee I tell you, but ya that has yet to happen, no over reactive silly woman here. Just a knows all to well, I can read the signs before you can, witchy woman of knowing.

So when you go from what was a flurry of communication on a daily basis to the grinding halt of quick two or three word answers, you pry don't need a bigger "Do Not Enter, Wrong Way" sign than that. Still maybe I can hold my breath for a just a min longer, if anything just to hold on to the glow of a extended conversation of loveliness.

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