It has been such an interesting journey so far, new skin, new eyes, new outlook on well.... everything. It's a constant balancing act these days of living in the now and keeping my heart open to the things that may come with every breath I am given now, and the moments where I have to still live in this plane of rat race circles. To day was one of the most beautiful examples of the tight rope act I have ever performed.
A stumbling block or two from my past has come back to test my new disposition and it's been interesting to step back and see how I am reacting to the stresses brought to me by my previous self, (thanks self). Seeing how much easier it for me to maneuver through the test now then how I would have spazzed out to it back then. It's not night and day but just completely different.
It's all DMV based issues, so again here is the test of duality, the tight rope feels like it gets thinner beneath the soles of my feet, almost cutting into them. The potential for the world and how it could be in my mind is so beautiful and in so many ways it exists on the plane I walk through most of these days. Then the sledge hammer of the broken concept, government, greed, money and how it's vicious bureaucratic mojo keep us all running round in circles so well, blinding us from the actual potentl, and I feel that rope make its first small slice into my foot and I begin to bleed a lil and the line get slick. The moment of fight or flight, your heart skips and you your knees almost go weak. My brain was racing where do I allow my thoughts to go, do I become distracted by the simple things of this place and let them take me back to that spazzy girl who would run and hide and let things get out of hand like they have again, or just breath and stand tall and let my body flow through the moment and keep me grounded on that line despite the little bit of pain and distraction. Did I really have to think that one through? Ya I did but only for a second.
These fleshy bags we wonder through this plane in are such fragile clumsy things. Limited, fearful, always hungry and driven but the concepts of limited time. Its all so very limited. If only we can see past that limit daily and see the infinite that we are all connected to. It seems impossible some days as I looks down from the wire sticky and wiggly beneath my feet, swaying slightly in the wind of change. It makes my heart pump, and my breath rappied-fire from my lungs. You see your mortality below you, and you freeze and stop still, if we don't move any further and stay right where we are, we wont fall.... Fear controls every action when we look down and see only the mortal world instead of looking up and seeing the vastness of the universe and everything beyond it.
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